As dawn broke, Kadaj stirred suddenly, coming out of a peaceful slumber. He smiled as he stretched, taking care not to disturb Rufus, whose arm had been snugly wrapped around Kadaj as they both slept. Everything felt nearly perfect, Kadaj mused. Except for one thing, he thought. Except for the fact that I've lied to him from the beginning. Sighing, Kadaj curled up into Rufus's side, laying an arm over the still-sleeping president's chest. How can I ever tell him the truth? Kadaj pondered, worried. I…I simply can't. It would mean the end of everything.
"Morning," Rufus murmured, shifting as he began to awaken. Stretching in bed, he turned on his side to face Kadaj. "So...what now?" Rufus blurted suddenly. Kadaj froze, wondering exactly what Rufus was driving at; yet at the same time, he knew what Rufus was asking.
What now, indeed. What about...their future? What was their status, particularly with a child on the way? Kadaj was definitely curious as to where Rufus stood on things; really, the ball was in Rufus's court, after all; it wasn't like Kadaj had a whole lot of options available to him, particularly with his brothers posing a threat to him, and his unborn child. Not to mention...Jenova. The spectre of Jenova was always there, even when Kadaj was able to successfully shut her out of his thoughts. He wondered, too, how much did Jenova know; surely Yazoo and Loz must have filled her in on his betrayal.
I couldn't help it, Kadaj thought, a bit ruefully. I couldn't help falling in love.
"What now..." Kadaj finally replied, carefully weighing his words. "Well, it's not as if I have a ton of options, is it?" he remarked, laughing bitterly. "My brothers likely have told Jenova already, that I've...betrayed her. Whatever," he scoffed. "I refuse to be her puppet, like Cloud Strife was."
Rufus perked up at this. "What do you know of Cloud Strife, Kadaj?" he asked quietly. As much as he felt he was in love with Kadaj, Rufus had to admit - there was still much about his lover that he did not know. Just as there are things about me, that Kadaj doesn't know...and I may never tell him certain things, Rufus pondered. He was, of course, thinking about his affair with Sephiroth; how would Kadaj feel about this? Rufus wondered. It has...no bearing on how I feel about Kadaj, certainly. But the fact remains...Kadaj is a part of Sephiroth himself, as his clone.
"I know a little bit," Kadaj replied, sitting up slightly in the bed. "Of course...much of what I know, is based on what Jenova told me of Cloud. Which of course, is likely a biased and tainted view of him. But...I did meet him, you know - although, not entirely...consciously. I could see into his thoughts - when I was in the Lifestream. I remember bits and pieces of it."
"When were you in the Lifestream? You didn't...die and come back, did you?" Rufus inquired. He'd heard of such a phenemenon happening, although the president had never experienced it for himself.
"No," Kadaj answered Rufus. He moved his body slowly over Rufus's, kissing him softly, and gazed directly into his eyes before continuing. "I remember...when I was born. Or, technically, was 'created.' Came into being, came into consciousness...that is when I first remember traveling through the Lifestream."
Rufus paled slightly at this admission. If Kadaj recalled Cloud's thoughts in the Lifestream...well, just how old was Kadaj anyway? By all accounts, he appeared to be a young adult; Rufus had assumed he was in his early twenties. But now...he wasn't so sure. Gods, am I...sleeping with a child? Have I impregnated...a mere boy? He began to feel nauseated by the possibility.
"The Lifestream...it's all-encompassing," Kadaj went on. "It's hard to explain, but...it's past, present and future, all at once. So...no matter when in time – this time, that is – that one enters the Lifestream, you are immersed with all the thoughts and memories of everyone who has gone before you...and of everyone who has yet to pass through the Lifestream."
"How is that even possible?" Rufus asked, incredulous. "Isn't time...linear? So to speak. How can you experience past, present and future simultaneously?"
"I don't really know, honestly. Thinking about it...it's enough to drive one mad, really," Kadaj replied cryptically. "Which is probably what happened with Jenova. I do know that she...tried to harness time. Tried to control something that was greater than she."
"She wants to control time? As well as destroy this planet?" Rufus echoed. "That is madness. What is her point in all of this?"
"Indeed," agreed Kadaj. "She wanted to take over the planet...and use it as a time machine. How she intended to do that, I'm not exactly sure. But she longed to travel the cosmos, and through different dimensions…different times. Thank Gaia...I finally realized, the extent of her insanity. I only hope my brothers come to the same conclusion...eventually."
"I hope so too," Rufus replied. "Kadaj? I need...to ask you something. Something that's been troubling me."
Oh Gaia, Kadaj thought, worriedly. This is it. He somehow suspects my duplicity...he knows...how could he know?
"What...is it, Rufus?" Kadaj asked quietly, steeling himself for the worst.
"Exactly how old are you, Kadaj?" Rufus demanded, frowning. Kadaj laughed out loud at the question, relieved. "Is that all you wanted to ask me?" he asked teasingly. "Well, in technical terms...clones are ageless, really. In human terms? I'm twenty-two."
"Oh, thank Gaia," Rufus murmured, breathing a sigh of relief. "At least I'm not breaking any decency laws."
Kadaj laughed until tears came. "Oh, Rufus. Were you honestly worried that I was...underage?" Kadaj asked, chuckling. "Gods, I love you." He kissed Rufus feverishly, groaning slightly and feeling as if he could melt into the kiss. "I love you too," Rufus replied, chuckling and wrapping his arms around Kadaj's waist. "And yes...I was a bit worried, when I started to wonder about your age."
"Well, now that I know you're legal," Rufus continued, kissing Kadaj. "That will make my next question a bit easier to ask."
"Mmm," Kadaj murmured distractedly, groaning as Rufus's hand wandered down, and rubbed his back. "What do you want to ask me now?"
"Kadaj?" Rufus said, framing his lover's face with his hands, and forcing him to look into his eyes. "Will you marry me?"
"W-what?" Kadaj stammered, clearly caught off guard. "Are you...serious?"
Rufus nodded. He was serious, although he had surprised even himself with the sudden proposal. Things are moving way too fast, a voice inside his head warned him. He could almost see Tseng shaking his head in disapproval, telling him the same thing. Rufus chose to ignore those voices - for now, anyway. I'm doing the right thing, Rufus told himself. Yes, it's sudden - but isn't everything moving rapidly lately?
It suddenly occurred to Rufus, that Kadaj had still not responded to his question; the young man was laying there silently, a strange expression on his face. "Kadaj? Well? Aren't you...going to answer me? Or do you need time to think it over?"
"I can't," Kadaj replied tearfully, suddenly getting up from the bed, and running into the bathroom, clutching his stomach and making wretching noises. "I just...can't talk about this right now!"
"Shit," Rufus muttered, laying back on the bed and sighing. What the hell is this all about? he wondered. Just some...hormonal outburst, or is this something else? Sighing, he got up from the bed, and followed Kadaj into the bathroom to check on him. This emotional blackmail is getting fucking old, Rufus thought, grumbling, yet trying to remain sympathetic.
That afternoon, Reno urged Rude that they should clock out early to do a little informal recon at Seventh Heaven. "Hmph," Rude grunted, in his usual noncommittal way. Reno took this as a yes, and the two set off around three o'clock, heading for the bar. "Going to question Strife a bit, if he's there. You think he'll be there, Rude?" Reno asked.
"Probably," Rude replied. "He lives there, doesn't he?"
"Yeah, but Tifa's always bitching that he's never there, yo," Reno replied, shrugging his shoulders. "So who knows."
"So we're going to a bar, to question someone who's probably not there anyway," Rude noted. "Waste of time," he grumbled.
"Not entirely, yo," Reno insisted, as they walked together toward the door of Seventh Heaven. "Your favorite bartender's on duty, for one thing," he said, nodding toward Tifa, who was wiping down the bar.
"Hmph," Rude grunted. Looking around, the bald Turk also spotted one Cloud Strife, sitting on a barstool at the end of the bar, quietly engaged in conversation with the aforementioned bartender. "Looks like your buddy's here too, Reno."
"Oh, good," Reno replied, nodding. He still felt a bit uneasy around the planet's hero, and he wasn't sure exactly why. They'd become friends, somewhat - although Reno always felt like he was trying too hard with Cloud. What the hell is my problem? Reno mused. Maybe it's the fact that I've never seen him crack a smile. Like, ever. What is up with that?
Reno was always one who felt the need to lighten the mood, when things got too heavy. Even Rude, who appeared emotionless most of the time, had now and then succumbed to Reno's off-center brand of humor. Even if he replied with a groan, and told Reno to 'cut that shit out,' at least Reno got a rise out of him.
Cloud Strife was the one person that Reno couldn't get a rise out of, and it irritated the hell out of him. The guy should be open to talking business with me, at least, Reno thought hopefully. If not, Rude'll be right, about this being a waste of time, I guess.
"Yo, Cloud," Reno said, greeting him, as he approached the barstool next to him. "Mind if I join you?"
Shrugging indifferently, Cloud replied, "Feel free, Reno. What are you having?"
"Whiskey," Reno replied automatically, settling onto the barstool. "Hey, Tifa," he said in greeting. "I'm gonna have a whiskey as usual, and Rude - beer for you, partner?" Reno inquired of his silent cohort, who replied with a slight nod of his head. "That was easy," Reno told Tifa, grinning. "Whiskey and a beer it is. Thanks, Tifa."
"Anyway," Reno continued, turning to Cloud, and addressing him. "I'm glad I caught you here. Something I need to ask you."
"Sure," Cloud replied, seeming a bit surprised. "What is it?"
"Kadaj and his gang," Reno began, leaning on the bar as he regarded Cloud. "Know anything about them? Rufus has been…keeping company with Kadaj, and I'm sort of doing an unofficial background check on the guy."
Cloud chuckled. "Ah, I understand," he replied. "Honestly, I don't know much about them. I know of them, of course…from the Lifestream."
"Really now?" Reno commented, suddenly interested. "How'd you meet them in there, anyway?"
"Well," Cloud replied. "It's like this. When you're…immersed in the Lifestream, like I was – everyone's thoughts and memories, past and present – they're in there with you, too. I remember…seeing Kadaj and his brothers...feeling their thoughts, that sort of thing. I didn't physically interact with them, or anything like that, though. Kadaj, Yazoo, and Loz – and the only reason I took notice of them at all, is because I thought for a second that Kadaj was Sephiroth."
"Huh," Reno muttered. "So…there's no way you'd remember anything specific about these knobs, right?"
"I remember a bit, but I don't really have any…conscious memories, not really," Cloud replied. Tifa suddenly appeared with Reno's drink, and a refill for Cloud. "Enjoy it!" she told Reno, chuckling. "Hope it doesn't knock you on your ass."
"Thanks, Tifa," Reno replied, sipping his drink. "I can hold my damned liquor, though, gods!" he grinned. " Hey, by the way – Rude ask you out yet?" Reno asked, winking at Tifa.
The barmaid sighed, wiping her hands on her apron. "Noooo, he hasn't," she replied, rolling her eyes. "We're talking, though. I guess that's a start?"
"With Rude, that's practically a marriage proposal," Reno muttered under his breath, as Cloud snickered.
"Hey, Reno?" Cloud said suddenly, grabbing Reno's arm. "There's...one thing that keeps bothering me. Now that I've been thinking about Kadaj and his...brothers, or whatever they are. Kadaj was...the leader, really. I mean, Jenova had quite a hold over him. And they called me a puppet." He laughed bitterly.
"What are you getting at, Cloud?" Reno asked quietly, his curiosity aroused. "What's the connection with Jenova? I know Kadaj's been hounding Rufus, about Jenova's whereabouts...and, the dude looks too much like Sephiroth, to be a coincidence."
"I don't really know, Reno. I just have a bad feeling about all of it," Cloud mused aloud. "The one thing I do know…Jenova's goal, always, has been to destroy this planet. Sephiroth tried to do it for her...so, if Kadaj has some sort of connection to Jenova...who's to say he wouldn't try the same thing?" Cloud shrugged, and shifted slightly on the barstool. "I'm not sure why Rufus feels he can trust him, but…you're doing the right thing, I think, by keeping an eye on Kadaj." Cloud leaned on the bar, and finished his drink.
Holy shit. That was the most I've heard Cloud Strife talk. Like, ever, Reno thought, with a wry grin. Something must not be quite right with Kadaj, though, to make Cloud so…wary, like that. This shit about Jenova, too..I knew something was up with that. What the hell is Rufus thinking?
"Hey, thanks, man," Reno replied easily, draining his whiskey. "You have been most helpful to me, really. I appreciate it." He paused for a moment, considering something. "I don't know either, what the hell Rufus is thinking," the Turk continued, shaking his head. "Well," he corrected himself. "I know what Rufus is thinking with, and it ain't his brain." He and Cloud both chuckled at this.
"Cloud?" Reno continued. "You said…that you didn't think you could remember anything consciously. What about…unconsciously?"
"What?" Cloud said. "I don't follow."
"I mean," Reno explained, "what if…you weren't conscious when you remembered? Like…hypnotized."
"Hmm," Cloud murmured, thinking about it. "That…might work, I don't know. I mean, I do still have dreams about…them. So I know they're always in my subconscious, you know? Shit, Reno. I think you might be onto something."
"Would you mind trying?" Reno asked Cloud, pleadingly. "It might really help…my, uh, investigation. I could see if Tseng knows anyone who could do it. Hypnotize you, that is."
"I'll think about it," Cloud replied. "Okay, Reno? Sorry, but that's the best I can do right now. I'm not keen on the idea of messing with my mind. My head's fucked up enough as it is, you know?"
"Oh, it's not like that now, Cloud," Reno protested, placing his hand on Cloud's back, as he guided him over to the table where Rude and Tifa were now seated. "Look. I know you've been to hell and back, but you're…completely of sound mind now."
Cloud smiled gratefully at Reno. Really, he was the first one who ever said anything of the kind to Cloud. He recalled all too well, those times that his grip on sanity was tenuous, at best. As much as he wanted to find out what, if anything, Kadaj and his gang were up to - that feeling of losing his mind, was not a thing Cloud wanted to revisit anytime soon.
"Kadaj, what is wrong?" Rufus demanded, knocking on the bathroom door. There had been no response for several minutes, save for the sounds of Kadaj vomiting. It was silent now, and Rufus was beginning to worry.
"Sorry," came a muffled voice from behind the door. "I just...am thinking about your question. You just surprised me, Rufus."
"Can you please come out of there?" Rufus pleaded. "I want to talk to you. I got you some ginger ale...and crackers..."
Kadaj thought he might burst into tears again. Really, Rufus was being so caring, and he didn't feel deserving. Not while there was this huge lie between the two of them. I have to tell him the truth, Kadaj thought tearfully. I know I said I couldn't do it...but I must.
"Rufus," Kadaj said, opening the door finally. "Thank you for putting up with me and my...antics," he said, laughing softly. "I'm a bit emotional lately."
"Yes, I'd noticed," Rufus remarked dryly, grinning. "Come, lay down for a minute. I have a tray for you by the bed. I'm sorry you were sick again...I feel terribly about that."
"Why?" Kadaj replied, expressing surprise. "It's not your fault I have morning sickness."
"Actually," Rufus said, chuckling as he slid under the covers next to Kadaj, "it kind of is my fault. I'm the one who got you with child, after all."
"Oh, right," Kadaj murmured, sipping slowly on ginger ale. "This is helping...I feel better already."
"Good," Rufus replied briefly, his fingers idly playing with Kadaj's hair. "So...about my question...I'm sorry if it was so sudden. And, not to mention, not very...traditional." He frowned slightly. "Was that it, Kadaj? I should have gotten down on one knee. And, perhaps given you a ring. I'm not very good at marriage proposals," he admitted, grinning sheepishly. "Obviously."
"That's not it at all, Rufus!" Kadaj protested. "It's not you, it's..."
"Oh, great," Rufus interrupted, sighing. "Don't give me that 'it's not you, it's me' bullshit, Kadaj. If I jumped the gun in proposing, fine - just tell me so. I thought you felt for me, the way I feel for you...now, I'm not so sure, given your reaction." He sighed again, as he lay back in the nest of pillows, pouting. "Fine, so you don't want to marry me, then," he huffed.
"Will you let me finish, damn it?" Kadaj snapped, then relented. "Look," he said, more calmly. "I'm sorry, Rufus. Yes, you surprised me. But...as much as I love you, I cannot enter into a marriage out of...your feelings of obligation. Nor with the knowledge that...I am a pawn in all of this, both of us are, really. Jenova's pawns."
"I'm sorry, Kadaj," Rufus apologized, kissing Kadaj's forehead. "I didn't mean to pressure you like that. But please...think about it? I know...this is crazy. This whole situation is crazy. We've been together for only a matter of days, and so much has changed already. We're going to have a child together, you and I." He grinned, as he ran his hand over Kadaj's abdomen. "An heir to the ShinRa fortune," he whispered. "Our child will have everything she needs, Kadaj," Rufus vowed. "I will make sure of it.
"You too, think it's a girl?" Kadaj asked teasingly. "I don't know why, but I just...have a feeling. Rufus...you are being a wonderful father to our child, already. I don't know what I expected..."
"Did you expect me to be a complete asshole?" Rufus asked, grinning. "I'll admit...I didn't handle the news of your pregnancy very well at first, and I'm sorry for that. But I am warming up to the idea. I want to be the kind of father that mine never was. Involved, for one thing," the president snorted. "I was...raised by hired staff, for the most part, Kadaj. Nannies and governesses. While they do serve a purpose, I've always felt that something was lacking, in my childhood."
"A parent is what was lacking, obviously," Kadaj replied brusquely. "I am sorry your father was...like that. Uncaring, and absent."
"I won't be like that," Rufus whispered, kissing Kadaj. "I promise." Rufus lay back on the pillows, and cradled Kadaj to his chest, stroking the silvery strands of hair that kept falling over his eye.
"You said that...Jenova's used you as her pawn," Rufus continued, changing the subject. "And I don't disagree with that. Clearly, if she kept that knowedge from you until recently...that you could bear children, she must have had some diabolical reason for doing so. Unless..."
Rufus's heart went cold at the thought that now invaded his brain. "Unless...you knew about this...before?" The president noticed that Kadaj suddenly broke his gaze, and wouldn't look him in the eye. Rufus felt his stomach churn as he posed his next question in his head.
"Kadaj? When did Jenova tell you that you could bear children? Was it...before we made love? Or after?" Rufus asked quietly.
Kadaj braced himself as he sat up, and looked Rufus right in the eye. "The truth? I knew it before we made love, Rufus. I knew."
"Morning," Rufus murmured, shifting as he began to awaken. Stretching in bed, he turned on his side to face Kadaj. "So...what now?" Rufus blurted suddenly. Kadaj froze, wondering exactly what Rufus was driving at; yet at the same time, he knew what Rufus was asking.
What now, indeed. What about...their future? What was their status, particularly with a child on the way? Kadaj was definitely curious as to where Rufus stood on things; really, the ball was in Rufus's court, after all; it wasn't like Kadaj had a whole lot of options available to him, particularly with his brothers posing a threat to him, and his unborn child. Not to mention...Jenova. The spectre of Jenova was always there, even when Kadaj was able to successfully shut her out of his thoughts. He wondered, too, how much did Jenova know; surely Yazoo and Loz must have filled her in on his betrayal.
I couldn't help it, Kadaj thought, a bit ruefully. I couldn't help falling in love.
"What now..." Kadaj finally replied, carefully weighing his words. "Well, it's not as if I have a ton of options, is it?" he remarked, laughing bitterly. "My brothers likely have told Jenova already, that I've...betrayed her. Whatever," he scoffed. "I refuse to be her puppet, like Cloud Strife was."
Rufus perked up at this. "What do you know of Cloud Strife, Kadaj?" he asked quietly. As much as he felt he was in love with Kadaj, Rufus had to admit - there was still much about his lover that he did not know. Just as there are things about me, that Kadaj doesn't know...and I may never tell him certain things, Rufus pondered. He was, of course, thinking about his affair with Sephiroth; how would Kadaj feel about this? Rufus wondered. It has...no bearing on how I feel about Kadaj, certainly. But the fact remains...Kadaj is a part of Sephiroth himself, as his clone.
"I know a little bit," Kadaj replied, sitting up slightly in the bed. "Of course...much of what I know, is based on what Jenova told me of Cloud. Which of course, is likely a biased and tainted view of him. But...I did meet him, you know - although, not entirely...consciously. I could see into his thoughts - when I was in the Lifestream. I remember bits and pieces of it."
"When were you in the Lifestream? You didn't...die and come back, did you?" Rufus inquired. He'd heard of such a phenemenon happening, although the president had never experienced it for himself.
"No," Kadaj answered Rufus. He moved his body slowly over Rufus's, kissing him softly, and gazed directly into his eyes before continuing. "I remember...when I was born. Or, technically, was 'created.' Came into being, came into consciousness...that is when I first remember traveling through the Lifestream."
Rufus paled slightly at this admission. If Kadaj recalled Cloud's thoughts in the Lifestream...well, just how old was Kadaj anyway? By all accounts, he appeared to be a young adult; Rufus had assumed he was in his early twenties. But now...he wasn't so sure. Gods, am I...sleeping with a child? Have I impregnated...a mere boy? He began to feel nauseated by the possibility.
"The Lifestream...it's all-encompassing," Kadaj went on. "It's hard to explain, but...it's past, present and future, all at once. So...no matter when in time – this time, that is – that one enters the Lifestream, you are immersed with all the thoughts and memories of everyone who has gone before you...and of everyone who has yet to pass through the Lifestream."
"How is that even possible?" Rufus asked, incredulous. "Isn't time...linear? So to speak. How can you experience past, present and future simultaneously?"
"I don't really know, honestly. Thinking about it...it's enough to drive one mad, really," Kadaj replied cryptically. "Which is probably what happened with Jenova. I do know that she...tried to harness time. Tried to control something that was greater than she."
"She wants to control time? As well as destroy this planet?" Rufus echoed. "That is madness. What is her point in all of this?"
"Indeed," agreed Kadaj. "She wanted to take over the planet...and use it as a time machine. How she intended to do that, I'm not exactly sure. But she longed to travel the cosmos, and through different dimensions…different times. Thank Gaia...I finally realized, the extent of her insanity. I only hope my brothers come to the same conclusion...eventually."
"I hope so too," Rufus replied. "Kadaj? I need...to ask you something. Something that's been troubling me."
Oh Gaia, Kadaj thought, worriedly. This is it. He somehow suspects my duplicity...he knows...how could he know?
"What...is it, Rufus?" Kadaj asked quietly, steeling himself for the worst.
"Exactly how old are you, Kadaj?" Rufus demanded, frowning. Kadaj laughed out loud at the question, relieved. "Is that all you wanted to ask me?" he asked teasingly. "Well, in technical terms...clones are ageless, really. In human terms? I'm twenty-two."
"Oh, thank Gaia," Rufus murmured, breathing a sigh of relief. "At least I'm not breaking any decency laws."
Kadaj laughed until tears came. "Oh, Rufus. Were you honestly worried that I was...underage?" Kadaj asked, chuckling. "Gods, I love you." He kissed Rufus feverishly, groaning slightly and feeling as if he could melt into the kiss. "I love you too," Rufus replied, chuckling and wrapping his arms around Kadaj's waist. "And yes...I was a bit worried, when I started to wonder about your age."
"Well, now that I know you're legal," Rufus continued, kissing Kadaj. "That will make my next question a bit easier to ask."
"Mmm," Kadaj murmured distractedly, groaning as Rufus's hand wandered down, and rubbed his back. "What do you want to ask me now?"
"Kadaj?" Rufus said, framing his lover's face with his hands, and forcing him to look into his eyes. "Will you marry me?"
"W-what?" Kadaj stammered, clearly caught off guard. "Are you...serious?"
Rufus nodded. He was serious, although he had surprised even himself with the sudden proposal. Things are moving way too fast, a voice inside his head warned him. He could almost see Tseng shaking his head in disapproval, telling him the same thing. Rufus chose to ignore those voices - for now, anyway. I'm doing the right thing, Rufus told himself. Yes, it's sudden - but isn't everything moving rapidly lately?
It suddenly occurred to Rufus, that Kadaj had still not responded to his question; the young man was laying there silently, a strange expression on his face. "Kadaj? Well? Aren't you...going to answer me? Or do you need time to think it over?"
"I can't," Kadaj replied tearfully, suddenly getting up from the bed, and running into the bathroom, clutching his stomach and making wretching noises. "I just...can't talk about this right now!"
"Shit," Rufus muttered, laying back on the bed and sighing. What the hell is this all about? he wondered. Just some...hormonal outburst, or is this something else? Sighing, he got up from the bed, and followed Kadaj into the bathroom to check on him. This emotional blackmail is getting fucking old, Rufus thought, grumbling, yet trying to remain sympathetic.
That afternoon, Reno urged Rude that they should clock out early to do a little informal recon at Seventh Heaven. "Hmph," Rude grunted, in his usual noncommittal way. Reno took this as a yes, and the two set off around three o'clock, heading for the bar. "Going to question Strife a bit, if he's there. You think he'll be there, Rude?" Reno asked.
"Probably," Rude replied. "He lives there, doesn't he?"
"Yeah, but Tifa's always bitching that he's never there, yo," Reno replied, shrugging his shoulders. "So who knows."
"So we're going to a bar, to question someone who's probably not there anyway," Rude noted. "Waste of time," he grumbled.
"Not entirely, yo," Reno insisted, as they walked together toward the door of Seventh Heaven. "Your favorite bartender's on duty, for one thing," he said, nodding toward Tifa, who was wiping down the bar.
"Hmph," Rude grunted. Looking around, the bald Turk also spotted one Cloud Strife, sitting on a barstool at the end of the bar, quietly engaged in conversation with the aforementioned bartender. "Looks like your buddy's here too, Reno."
"Oh, good," Reno replied, nodding. He still felt a bit uneasy around the planet's hero, and he wasn't sure exactly why. They'd become friends, somewhat - although Reno always felt like he was trying too hard with Cloud. What the hell is my problem? Reno mused. Maybe it's the fact that I've never seen him crack a smile. Like, ever. What is up with that?
Reno was always one who felt the need to lighten the mood, when things got too heavy. Even Rude, who appeared emotionless most of the time, had now and then succumbed to Reno's off-center brand of humor. Even if he replied with a groan, and told Reno to 'cut that shit out,' at least Reno got a rise out of him.
Cloud Strife was the one person that Reno couldn't get a rise out of, and it irritated the hell out of him. The guy should be open to talking business with me, at least, Reno thought hopefully. If not, Rude'll be right, about this being a waste of time, I guess.
"Yo, Cloud," Reno said, greeting him, as he approached the barstool next to him. "Mind if I join you?"
Shrugging indifferently, Cloud replied, "Feel free, Reno. What are you having?"
"Whiskey," Reno replied automatically, settling onto the barstool. "Hey, Tifa," he said in greeting. "I'm gonna have a whiskey as usual, and Rude - beer for you, partner?" Reno inquired of his silent cohort, who replied with a slight nod of his head. "That was easy," Reno told Tifa, grinning. "Whiskey and a beer it is. Thanks, Tifa."
"Anyway," Reno continued, turning to Cloud, and addressing him. "I'm glad I caught you here. Something I need to ask you."
"Sure," Cloud replied, seeming a bit surprised. "What is it?"
"Kadaj and his gang," Reno began, leaning on the bar as he regarded Cloud. "Know anything about them? Rufus has been…keeping company with Kadaj, and I'm sort of doing an unofficial background check on the guy."
Cloud chuckled. "Ah, I understand," he replied. "Honestly, I don't know much about them. I know of them, of course…from the Lifestream."
"Really now?" Reno commented, suddenly interested. "How'd you meet them in there, anyway?"
"Well," Cloud replied. "It's like this. When you're…immersed in the Lifestream, like I was – everyone's thoughts and memories, past and present – they're in there with you, too. I remember…seeing Kadaj and his brothers...feeling their thoughts, that sort of thing. I didn't physically interact with them, or anything like that, though. Kadaj, Yazoo, and Loz – and the only reason I took notice of them at all, is because I thought for a second that Kadaj was Sephiroth."
"Huh," Reno muttered. "So…there's no way you'd remember anything specific about these knobs, right?"
"I remember a bit, but I don't really have any…conscious memories, not really," Cloud replied. Tifa suddenly appeared with Reno's drink, and a refill for Cloud. "Enjoy it!" she told Reno, chuckling. "Hope it doesn't knock you on your ass."
"Thanks, Tifa," Reno replied, sipping his drink. "I can hold my damned liquor, though, gods!" he grinned. " Hey, by the way – Rude ask you out yet?" Reno asked, winking at Tifa.
The barmaid sighed, wiping her hands on her apron. "Noooo, he hasn't," she replied, rolling her eyes. "We're talking, though. I guess that's a start?"
"With Rude, that's practically a marriage proposal," Reno muttered under his breath, as Cloud snickered.
"Hey, Reno?" Cloud said suddenly, grabbing Reno's arm. "There's...one thing that keeps bothering me. Now that I've been thinking about Kadaj and his...brothers, or whatever they are. Kadaj was...the leader, really. I mean, Jenova had quite a hold over him. And they called me a puppet." He laughed bitterly.
"What are you getting at, Cloud?" Reno asked quietly, his curiosity aroused. "What's the connection with Jenova? I know Kadaj's been hounding Rufus, about Jenova's whereabouts...and, the dude looks too much like Sephiroth, to be a coincidence."
"I don't really know, Reno. I just have a bad feeling about all of it," Cloud mused aloud. "The one thing I do know…Jenova's goal, always, has been to destroy this planet. Sephiroth tried to do it for her...so, if Kadaj has some sort of connection to Jenova...who's to say he wouldn't try the same thing?" Cloud shrugged, and shifted slightly on the barstool. "I'm not sure why Rufus feels he can trust him, but…you're doing the right thing, I think, by keeping an eye on Kadaj." Cloud leaned on the bar, and finished his drink.
Holy shit. That was the most I've heard Cloud Strife talk. Like, ever, Reno thought, with a wry grin. Something must not be quite right with Kadaj, though, to make Cloud so…wary, like that. This shit about Jenova, too..I knew something was up with that. What the hell is Rufus thinking?
"Hey, thanks, man," Reno replied easily, draining his whiskey. "You have been most helpful to me, really. I appreciate it." He paused for a moment, considering something. "I don't know either, what the hell Rufus is thinking," the Turk continued, shaking his head. "Well," he corrected himself. "I know what Rufus is thinking with, and it ain't his brain." He and Cloud both chuckled at this.
"Cloud?" Reno continued. "You said…that you didn't think you could remember anything consciously. What about…unconsciously?"
"What?" Cloud said. "I don't follow."
"I mean," Reno explained, "what if…you weren't conscious when you remembered? Like…hypnotized."
"Hmm," Cloud murmured, thinking about it. "That…might work, I don't know. I mean, I do still have dreams about…them. So I know they're always in my subconscious, you know? Shit, Reno. I think you might be onto something."
"Would you mind trying?" Reno asked Cloud, pleadingly. "It might really help…my, uh, investigation. I could see if Tseng knows anyone who could do it. Hypnotize you, that is."
"I'll think about it," Cloud replied. "Okay, Reno? Sorry, but that's the best I can do right now. I'm not keen on the idea of messing with my mind. My head's fucked up enough as it is, you know?"
"Oh, it's not like that now, Cloud," Reno protested, placing his hand on Cloud's back, as he guided him over to the table where Rude and Tifa were now seated. "Look. I know you've been to hell and back, but you're…completely of sound mind now."
Cloud smiled gratefully at Reno. Really, he was the first one who ever said anything of the kind to Cloud. He recalled all too well, those times that his grip on sanity was tenuous, at best. As much as he wanted to find out what, if anything, Kadaj and his gang were up to - that feeling of losing his mind, was not a thing Cloud wanted to revisit anytime soon.
"Kadaj, what is wrong?" Rufus demanded, knocking on the bathroom door. There had been no response for several minutes, save for the sounds of Kadaj vomiting. It was silent now, and Rufus was beginning to worry.
"Sorry," came a muffled voice from behind the door. "I just...am thinking about your question. You just surprised me, Rufus."
"Can you please come out of there?" Rufus pleaded. "I want to talk to you. I got you some ginger ale...and crackers..."
Kadaj thought he might burst into tears again. Really, Rufus was being so caring, and he didn't feel deserving. Not while there was this huge lie between the two of them. I have to tell him the truth, Kadaj thought tearfully. I know I said I couldn't do it...but I must.
"Rufus," Kadaj said, opening the door finally. "Thank you for putting up with me and my...antics," he said, laughing softly. "I'm a bit emotional lately."
"Yes, I'd noticed," Rufus remarked dryly, grinning. "Come, lay down for a minute. I have a tray for you by the bed. I'm sorry you were sick again...I feel terribly about that."
"Why?" Kadaj replied, expressing surprise. "It's not your fault I have morning sickness."
"Actually," Rufus said, chuckling as he slid under the covers next to Kadaj, "it kind of is my fault. I'm the one who got you with child, after all."
"Oh, right," Kadaj murmured, sipping slowly on ginger ale. "This is helping...I feel better already."
"Good," Rufus replied briefly, his fingers idly playing with Kadaj's hair. "So...about my question...I'm sorry if it was so sudden. And, not to mention, not very...traditional." He frowned slightly. "Was that it, Kadaj? I should have gotten down on one knee. And, perhaps given you a ring. I'm not very good at marriage proposals," he admitted, grinning sheepishly. "Obviously."
"That's not it at all, Rufus!" Kadaj protested. "It's not you, it's..."
"Oh, great," Rufus interrupted, sighing. "Don't give me that 'it's not you, it's me' bullshit, Kadaj. If I jumped the gun in proposing, fine - just tell me so. I thought you felt for me, the way I feel for you...now, I'm not so sure, given your reaction." He sighed again, as he lay back in the nest of pillows, pouting. "Fine, so you don't want to marry me, then," he huffed.
"Will you let me finish, damn it?" Kadaj snapped, then relented. "Look," he said, more calmly. "I'm sorry, Rufus. Yes, you surprised me. But...as much as I love you, I cannot enter into a marriage out of...your feelings of obligation. Nor with the knowledge that...I am a pawn in all of this, both of us are, really. Jenova's pawns."
"I'm sorry, Kadaj," Rufus apologized, kissing Kadaj's forehead. "I didn't mean to pressure you like that. But please...think about it? I know...this is crazy. This whole situation is crazy. We've been together for only a matter of days, and so much has changed already. We're going to have a child together, you and I." He grinned, as he ran his hand over Kadaj's abdomen. "An heir to the ShinRa fortune," he whispered. "Our child will have everything she needs, Kadaj," Rufus vowed. "I will make sure of it.
"You too, think it's a girl?" Kadaj asked teasingly. "I don't know why, but I just...have a feeling. Rufus...you are being a wonderful father to our child, already. I don't know what I expected..."
"Did you expect me to be a complete asshole?" Rufus asked, grinning. "I'll admit...I didn't handle the news of your pregnancy very well at first, and I'm sorry for that. But I am warming up to the idea. I want to be the kind of father that mine never was. Involved, for one thing," the president snorted. "I was...raised by hired staff, for the most part, Kadaj. Nannies and governesses. While they do serve a purpose, I've always felt that something was lacking, in my childhood."
"A parent is what was lacking, obviously," Kadaj replied brusquely. "I am sorry your father was...like that. Uncaring, and absent."
"I won't be like that," Rufus whispered, kissing Kadaj. "I promise." Rufus lay back on the pillows, and cradled Kadaj to his chest, stroking the silvery strands of hair that kept falling over his eye.
"You said that...Jenova's used you as her pawn," Rufus continued, changing the subject. "And I don't disagree with that. Clearly, if she kept that knowedge from you until recently...that you could bear children, she must have had some diabolical reason for doing so. Unless..."
Rufus's heart went cold at the thought that now invaded his brain. "Unless...you knew about this...before?" The president noticed that Kadaj suddenly broke his gaze, and wouldn't look him in the eye. Rufus felt his stomach churn as he posed his next question in his head.
"Kadaj? When did Jenova tell you that you could bear children? Was it...before we made love? Or after?" Rufus asked quietly.
Kadaj braced himself as he sat up, and looked Rufus right in the eye. "The truth? I knew it before we made love, Rufus. I knew."
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